Acceptance and Forgiveness
Once we begin to explore our spiritual nature and become consciously aware of what we truly are we have to come to terms with our past. For me, it was mindblowing when I realized that everything I’d been through was necessary and my choice to get me to today. Acceptance is the awareness that we are responsible wholly or in part for everything that happens in our lives. We are conditioned to place blame, usually on someone else or some circumstance in order to justify our actions or conditions. Once I began to accept all that I had done, I began to feel the power within me. Like I say so often, it does take time, but as you accept more and more about yourself, you also begin to feel better as if little by little weight is lifted. At the same time you start accepting, you’ll need to forgive yourself and others for their part in everything. We often say we forgive but we know down deep it’s not that easy. Especially for ourselves. This takes a lot of time and a lot of reflection. These are not exercises that can be done a a periodic basis, these are habits to be developed and incorporated into our very existence. And again as you do this you’ll feel the burdens that have accumulated over time being lifted from your soul.
I don’t know why I’m compelled to write this but I am. I only wish to share my experiences since becoming consciously aware.
Experiment and Explore
My life really changed in August, 2007 when my step-daughter Angel died from an accidental overdose of prescription medication. She and I were very close. In fact she was the one who introduced me to her mother. Her death was a catalyst in my returning to music. I bought a guitar and wrote a song about her. For the next two years I struggled with where I was in life and what I wanted to accomplish. In 2009 I bought and read the book Harmonic Wealth by James Ray. Upon reading that book I began to seek out more on the law of attraction as well as spiritual writings. That led me to The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I then read books by all of the people featured in The Secret and on to Abraham-Hicks. The point I now understand is that experimenting and exploring is the very nature of ourselves spiritually. No matter if you’re just starting or have been looking for answers, they are there for you to find. I want to stress that there are many, many authors and each has a unique view. Only you as I can find what we relate to in the journey. If you read something that doesn’t fit, go to another. Trust me, it all comes together. Another point is that evolving does’t or can’t happen overnight. As you learn something, it takes time to incorporate it into your life. I am not “there” because “there” doesn’t exist, I am constantly learning and trying new things. But I can tell you that I am a long way from where I was and am happy and grateful for all the lessons learned.
The next post will be “First things first.”
As Valentine’s day approaches, there is lot of focus given to relationships. All in the form of “soul mates” and “eternal love”. I have been married three times and honestly loved each one. For a long time I thought there was something wrong with me. After all, why can’t I find that special someone? Then as I began to become aware of who I am and was, I began to see things in a different way. First, I had to come to terms with me. I am happiest when I am able to do what I desire when I want without having to negotiate with someone else’s feelings. Second, I had to discover what I really want in a relationship(s). I am always open to meeting new people and getting to know them on more than a superficial basis. Finally, I had to be open and honest with those around me as to what I want. I can’t say enough about how the burden was lifted and I am now happier than ever before. So this V-day is for me. I will celebrate it with the knowledge that there are a lot of people to meet and share ideas and dreams with even if for a brief period of time.
In my reading and studying I came across Abraham-Hicks. For those who don’t know who that is, Abraham is the name for a group of spiritual beings lending guidance to us through Esther Hicks. Along with her husband Jerry, they hold seminars around the world with a lot of Q and A sessions. They (through Esther and Jerry) have written several books on specific subjects. Whether you want to believe or not, once you’ve read, heard, or seen (youtube) them, it is clear (at least to me) they are real. One of the topics often talked about is momentum. It is the result of one thought leading to another then another and so on. It can be positive or negative. While I know it’s happened to me before, I was never conscious of it till this week. For a while, I’ve been trying to create some things in my life that I just didn’t know how I could. Thanks to a lot of meditating, visualizing, and positive affirmations, I am experiencing exactly what they talk about. For starters, financially, it seemed as though we’d run out of money before our bills were due. Common enough, but keeping the right thoughts in mind and having faith, everything came together at just the right time. Even with some stress about dealing with an individual that I need to let go, they came to me about it on their own and agreed calmly to what needs to be done. No drama, no heartache. I can’t put into words what a tremendous feeling it is when you let go and let the universe do it’s thing without me mucking it up somehow. As for the momentum, I am just continuing to follow the good thoughts that brought me here and at this moment in time, I can see, hear, and feel the perfection that is.
Today I caught myself watching a person jog along a road. As I watched I couldn’t help but admire him running and thinking I want to do that. But as thought about it more I realized that I did do that, when I was younger and in the service I ran 5 miles a day. Then I began to remember why I stopped. It hurt. why? Well I wasn’t as young anymore and my body told me to find another type of exercise that wasn’t as stressful. I then began to think about all of the other instances where I’ve looked at someone or something and thought I wanted what they had or was doing. As I’ve learned to be more grateful for what I have, I’ve also learned to not worry about what I don’t have.
I now walk and do yoga. I have a car, a home, and good healthy food to eat. I also have people in my life that care about me and I about them. Finally, I have memories of things I’ve done that some might want as well as material things that others may never have. So I don’t need to have what others have, I have me and that’s all I ever really wanted.
Today is no more important than yesterday or tomorrow. In fact, the only differences between each day are the experiences we have. I’ve come to realize that there is too much routine in my life. I think I’ll do something I shouldn’t. Just for the fun of it. I don’t know what but it’ll come to me. How ridiculous, planning to be spontaneous, but isn’t that how it goes as an adult? Oh, how I long for those moments when a decision is made without thought to what comes after. I used to do that. Why can’t I now? Who says we have to think about consequences? Why can’t I just have fun? But I can. In fact I am.
As it happens all too often, when we’re in the middle of a hectic day seeing to the needs of others, we want, no, crave, solitude. That magical time when we are alone to think and do whatever pleases us. Then we get it and do some things we wanted but before long we find ourselves looking around trying to find something to do. We sit at the computer and play solitaire, mah-jongh, and/or crosswords (or some other game to escape). We begin to crave company, someone we can talk to. Why? As it happens often (at least to me), the answer came from the universe. We (I) have spent so much of my life tending to others that I’d forgotten about me. I liked to think I didn’t but the truth was there. We are constantly fed the line(s) about not having idle time, you got to stay busy, don’t waste a moment, etc…
The truth is that time is irrelevant to a spirit. Being alone is refreshing to our souls. It also takes practice. As we do this more, the more clear our lives become. I for one am excited to get the chance to do this as often as I can, without distractions. I know it will happen simply because it is my will and thought.