Emotional Guidance

If there is one thing I’ve been learning, and continue to learn, it’s the total misconception of emotions.  The prevalent thinking is we feel things as a response to what others may do and say, and it’s uncontrollable.  But we also know from scientific studies that our emotions are triggered from past events and teachings in our lives.  But what if we could override those things and replace them with new ones?  Well, neuroscience has shown that we can with awareness.  When you’re aware of a feeling, you then have the choice to keep it or change it.  So how do we use this as guidance?  I want to touch on a couple of things that may shed some light.

Gratitude and Value:  The majority of people are taught at a young age to say “thank you” when they receive something.  When taught, they usually don’t understand the emotion of really being grateful, but say it because they’re supposed to.  At times, when they get something they really wanted, they do experience that feeling.  But the majority of the time it’s just a learned habit.  Don’t get me wrong, it is a good habit, but let’s take a look at this a little closer.  A child get’s a toy they’ve wanted, they’re really excited and thankful.  A short time passes and they’re tired of the toy, it’s broken or lost.  For them, it’s value has gone and it’s now time for another.  Fast forward to adulthood.  How many times have we wanted something, got it, only to be ready for the next thing.  True gratitude should be felt.  So where does value come in?  The extent of our gratitude is related to how much we value of what we receive.  I remember as a teen, the first car I got.  Being able to get out of the house and just go anywhere was the greatest thing.  I valued it tremendously and showed it by taking care of it, washing the outside, keeping the inside spotless.  If anything needed to be fixed, I did it.  I always kept my cars in primo shape.  That’s just an example, it can applied to anything we receive.  Now for the flip side.  How many of us have gotten raises at work, been happy when we see it in our paychecks a few times, then after a while start thinking about that next one, still unhappy with our pay?

So what is my point?  With awareness, we can say “thank you” with feeling by focusing on the value of whatever it is we receive.  And by focusing on that, we will continue to receive more of it.  There is no question that we are created to expand in all areas of what we define as our lives, but that expansion will only occur when we feel real appreciation and gratitude for what we have instead of contempt for what we don’t have.  That is the guidance, when we feel truly grateful, we are headed the right way, when we don’t, we aren’t.




In the world of self-help and personal growth, very little is said about endings.  It seems that so much emphasis is on starting and going that many believe it won’t end.  But the natural cycle of all things has an ending.  While we energetically and spiritually endless, everything we experience has a start and finish.

I believe that endings can be extremely powerful and uplifting when accepted and viewed the right way.  Most people have experienced a bad relationship and even though the breakup was tough, afterwards everything was fine.  But what about the good relationships?  Why do they have to end?  And it’s not just relationships, but everything we be, do and have.

It’s about experiencing.  We are here to experience as much as possible by choice.  The thrill of any achievement isn’t the outcome, it’s the getting there.  When you think about it, wasn’t that moment you graduated from school, or left home to be on your own one of the most thrilling and exciting moments of your life?  Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with your life and remembered what is was like to look to the unknown life ahead and dream of all the possibilities?

Of course, but did you ever consider that there would be an end to every up and down along the way?

Endings are part of beginnings.  Just like leaving home as a young adult or teen, childhood ended so adulthood could begin (not that we acted like adults at first).  So if we can accept endings as well as beginnings we will live a much more rewarding life with less grief and more optimism.



The Need for Inspiration

I am currently taking a success masterclass and am learning a great deal about myself , my dreams and my goals.  In this weeks lesson, the subject of inspiration was discussed.  A lot has been said about inspired action vs. random action and finding inspiration within ourselves, but I now believe in something more.

We need inspiration to get anything truly productive done.  So where do we find it?  Especially when we just can’t seem to.  The answer is in each other.  Everything we desire has been done in some way by someone.  But there is a factor that is often ignored.  That is reinforcement.

We all have seen, read or heard of someone accomplishing what we may be dreaming of.  We feel the excitement within and vow to start doing what they did, only to let it fade away as we fall back into the same things we’ve always done.  For example, new years resolutions.  We say we’re going to eat right and exercise.  We may even join a gym and start, then we stop going as often and go back to eating fast food, citing we don’t have the time or we didn’t expect the challenge to be as difficult.

The reason we fall back isn’t we don’t really want to accomplish it, but we lose our inspiration.  Once we find inspiration in something, it needs to be visited on a daily basis.  We need to go back to the success story and reinforce it in our subconscious mind.  We need to see how others have overcome the challenges and know we can too.

I am committed to my dreams and goals.  It is the inspiration of others that ensure I can do it also.



Twilight Under a Palm Tree

I have blessed to have traveled to many parts of the world.  I often remember the places and people, and even some of the experiences while there.  Of all the places I’ve been, the island of Guam is a source of many memories.  It was there I sat on a hillside looking out at the vast Pacific Ocean and admiring the sheer power it possesses.  It was also there I remember sitting at the beach under a palm tree watching the sunset.

I have come to believe that when we become aware of ourselves and the universe, it is like twilight.  That time where you can see the light of the sun while darkness is slowly setting in, like having one foot in the physical and one in the ethereal.  For me, it’s a time of confirmation that beyond the light is the field of infinite possibility.  That our reality is the illusion and we belong to the universe.

I believe we come here to experience what we call life by choice.  Time is never a factor because we can do it as much as we want.  Just like a video game where our avatar is killed and we restart the game and try again as another avatar.  Each time learning something new to move forward.



Doing Your Part

Ever since the move “The Secret” was released in 2006, the law of attraction has become a focal point for personal development.  While life coaches, teachers, philosophers and gurus expound on it, there are still so many who misunderstand how it works.  I believe this is due to people hearing what they want instead of hearing what’s being said.  The law of attraction can’t be activated, its a law, it’s constant.  It’s not about using it, but understanding it and recognizing it.

Understanding the LOA is as much about doing as it is thinking.  We’ve all had those moments when we think the right thought, we feel it and just know it’s going to happen, then it doesn’t.  Why?  If the LOA is what they say, then what happened?  I know this from personal experience.  When I look back on those moments and follow it forward, I always, always come to a moment when it was presented to me and I didn’t do my part to get it.  For a lot of us, it has to do with how we think it should happen.  The truth is that we are often so intent on how something should happen, we miss the opportunity.

Being aware and open to ALL possibilities is the key.  Then it’s up to us to do our part, which is recognizing it, taking the action and receiving it as it is.  Life is magical when you realize that you can have, do or be anything.  Doing your part ensures it.


Changing Paradigms

I want to share a lesson from the masterclass I’m currently taking.  Most all of us have heard the term “paradigms.”  In a nutshell, they are adopted beliefs from someone elses point of view.  One of the biggest and most adopted paradigms is the have-be-do.  It is the belief that we must “have” money to “be” in a position to “do” the things we want.  It sounds logical, but it doesn’t work that way.  In fact, the people who do have money don’t think that way.  Their paradigm is be-do-have.  They act like they have enough and do what they can and then more comes.

I was introduced to this while in the military, I just didn’t know it.  I was talking with my Chief about my career and he told me, “You have to think two pay grades ahead of where you are to get promoted.”  In other words, as an E-4, I had to think (and act) like an E-6 to get to E-5.  It worked, I got the promotion but I didn’t know enough to apply it to the rest of my life.

Changing the paradigm is simple, not easy.  It takes practice by changing habits, sometimes people and maybe even a place, or all of them.  The only question is what do you want?  Again, simple but not necessarily easy.  We all have multiple dreams.  For some it’s not about having a mansion, but their first house.  Others may have the money but not the health or relationship they dream about.  It doesn’t matter what the dream or even goal is, changing the paradigm is the key.



The Learning Investment

I am making a confession.  For years I’ve read many books (mostly from the public library), listened to and watched free videos, and taken advantage of numerous free training offers.  They all have helped me tremendously, however, I found myself at a point where I just couldn’t seem to make any more progress.  Since money was a big obstacle (perceived), I always said I just couldn’t afford to spend the money for the full program.  That is until recently.

It was in one of those free emails, I was led to a letter from a person, like me, who did the exact same thing.  Their letter would’ve very well been mine except for the end where they finally invested in the course and the results they got.

Since I don’t believe in coincidences, I knew I was meant to read it.  I decided to take the leap of faith and purchase a full program with all the bells and whistles.  While I’m still taking the course, I have already seen and felt the difference.  I now have accountability ( a good thing) and motivation to get the most for my money, which I am finding out is part of my procrastination and limiting belief to my dreams.

I do believe in due diligence with what we receive, but there is that fine line between being responsible (I did have enough and didn’t compromise any bill payments) and the fear of losing what we have (limiting belief).

I am writing from my heart when I say, do what it takes to clear the obstacles from the life of your dreams.  Invest in your happiness and dreams.  You can never be disappointed.