Getting Over Yesterday

In the universe of self-improvement, there is always that book or video about letting go of the past, however, it always seems to pertain to something that wasn’t so good.  As far as I’m concerned, that’s not as hard.  The hard one (at least to me) is getting past that triumph or time when I was on top of the world, doing exactly what I wanted and just didn’t realize it at the time.

Why couldn’t I have known then what I know now?

That’s a question I don’t think I can honestly answer without reciting one of the many gurus, “You had to learn the lesson.”  Okay, what lesson?  Well, it’s time to swallow the pride and note the obvious.  Being present with awareness.

It’s never too late to go back?

Not exactly.  While all things are possible are possible in the Universe, not all are in this illusion of reality.  Not to mention (like the gurus say), you probably don’t really want to because you’re wanting more (I hate it when they’re right).

So, what can I do about it?

I won’t repeat the chant of just get over it because that just won’t cut it, but what will is…go back in my mind, not only to the good, but the bad that was happening at that time, and the thoughts I had then.  This is where the Aha moment happens.  I was thinking then of being where I am now, duh! (The grass is not only greener on the other side, it keeps moving).  The next thing I began to realize was there are events I liked back then that when I try to go to now trigger those feelings.

A New Hope (sounds like a movie?)

The bottom line is that we experience both good and bad things.  We cannot let ourselve become attached to either.  I have great memories of being part of something that was important to myself and mankind.  I played my part, but it’s over and time for me to find that next thing that allows me to feel those feelings of pride, accomplishment and be aware this time.








The Art of Shifting

What is shifting?

I define shifting as simply changing perspectives.  We all have those times in our lives when something unforseen happens.  It could be financial, relationship or health.  I personally had a relationship end all of a sudden with no warning at all.  It is natural to get those overwhelming emotions  and questions of why now and how did this happen?  I learned about shifting from a talk Dr. Joe Dispenza gave where he cited an example of two women experiencing this same thing.  One let it dictate her life for years to come, using as an excuse.  The other saw it as the best thing that happened to her and thrived on her own.

How do we shift?

It’s not always easy.  From a neuroscience perspective, we have built several synaptic connections supporting the way things were.  Another way to put it, we spend years thinking and doing something so we can’t just change it immediately.  We may even recall thoughts we had that helped bring about the situation, but by stepping back in our mind and move our thoughts to our dreams and goals, we can start seeing from a different angle.  That is when magic happens.  I had to do it.  I stepped back and thought of my dream and the thoughts I had.  I started to not only feel better, but actually felt grateful for it.

What do we do after?

First, you may have to forgive yourself for whatever part you played.  Second, it is essential to start doing something that reinforces and supports your dream.  Even if it’s only making plans, as long as you intend and make the decision to follow through no matter how small the plan is.

My next post will be about cause and effect and how we get it backwards.


Passion, Practicality and Allowing

I read an interesting article today about passion and practicality.  In short it talked about balancing between the two.  It was an A-ha moment for me.  I’ve been reading and studying the law of attraction and all related information for over 9 years now.  I’ve experimented and used many of the different suggested techniques for self-development with much success.  However, I’ve not yet achieved that big dream and at times felt like settling for less.  So I began asking why?

As I mentioned, as soon as I read the article, it hit me.  We all have several “dreams” of what we want in this life.  And it is our nature to think in steps.  For example, in order to live a life of wealth, we first have to pay down the debt so we can save more, then invest in the materials needed to do what it is we want.  Then it’s a matter of getting proficient in what we’re doing which takes time.  We think we have to sacrifice our current lifestyle so we can attain a better one.

So where does that leave us?  Do we have to give up the things we worked hard for in order to do something believe we really want to do?  One of the first things that I realized was that we get signs and clues, but each one is meant to lead you to another.  We tend to believe when we suddenly see something, it’s the answer for everything, but the truth is that it is only an answer to one question and we will have more.

I remember reading and listening to Abraham-Hicks about momentum.  They talked about being on a fast train heading in one direction when you realize your going the wrong way and then wanting to “jump” from the train your on to the one headed in another direction.  It’s just not practical or easy, which is where failure and suffering usually come in.  Don’t get me wrong, there are those who have done it successfully, but that’s not the majority.  Which is exactly where the phrase, “don’t give up your day job” comes from.

Which brings us to allowing.  The most important key to getting the life you really want is letting it happen versus making it happen.  Another example I read some time ago, if your dream is to own an expensive car, you still need to be able to support having it.  Insurance is higher and so is the maintenance.  Just being able to have the car isn’t enough.  Working with a goal means taking it into account with every decision and as you make your decisions around that, things will happen to support your dream and when it all comes together, it’s absolutely beautiful and perfect.



The Next Secret

When the book and movie “The Secret” came out, it propelled the personal development industry to new heights.  If you haven’t seen or read them, it talks about the Law of Attraction.  Since then, there has been many other authors with their take on it as well as other aspects to life.  The need for gratitude, self-love, visualization, affirmations and a host of takes on eastern philosophy have become popular.

It is quite obvious that the Law of Attraction is just the tip of all that goes into living to our highest level.

One of the most simple, yet profound lessons I’ve learned is to mind my own business.  This concept seems to go against the grain of society, where we are constantly seeking to improve “mankind” with solutions to every ill and problem we see.  However, it is that fine line of being part of the solution without trying to impose our opinion.

I do advocate giving in any way possible to help those in need.  The trick is to do so without judgment as to why the problem exists.

This is also very, very key to relationships.  I believe it is the root of our abilities to live in harmony with everyone around us, especially those we consider close (spouse, children, family).  It isn’t easy to watch a friend go through a situation without trying to comfort or help them in some way.  It’s even harder when it’s a family member.  But, if we have to learn our lessons through experience, don’t they?  We can share our beliefs about consciousness and mindfulness, but we can’t expect them to see it unless they choose to.

The bottom line is simple.  Each person has his or her own dream.  It is up to each of us to seek our own dream without expectation of anyone else.  When we do that, the people who need to be in our lives, are and the ones who don’t, fade away.  And that’s the secret of getting where we truly want in life.



Am I Being Heard?

The past couple of months have been a little stressful.  Ok, very stressful.  I have incurred extra expenses and have been getting less money from work.  Like most of the people on this planet, when faced with dire situations, we turn to God, Universe or Source and start asking for miracles.  Even the most aware and people with higher consciousness either do or have done it.

Why?  I believe we all have that innate awareness we are something more just temporarily occupying a body.  So back to the question, “Am I being heard?”  The answer is absolutely yes.  More so, we are getting the answers.  So why don’t we get it?  Well, that’s a lesson I learned recently.  Not from some guru, but from my own experience and awareness.

You see, we all tend to look for specific answers we want.  By doing so, we neglect and ignore the ones we are getting.  Often, the answers require us to do something different, to change how we think or to leave our comfort zone.

How many times have we asked for more money, yet, never bothered to look at doing something different even when that email offered a chance for a different source of income.  How many times have we asked for a better relationship, yet, keep staying with that person who isn’t really right for us.  And there’s that fear.  The fear of failure, what if I try a new job and it doesn’t pan out?  I can’t afford to leave my spouse right now so I’ll work on a plan to get to where I can.

The only way to truly “get” the answer, is to move out of the way of ourselves.  To let go the programming we’ve accumulated and think like nothing’s in the way.

I believe we come here to experience both good and bad.  It’s what life is really about.  If we wanted nothing but feeling good, we wouldn’t have come here.  It’s also about the journey to awareness and the gradual lifting of the veil that separates us from the infinite.

So, the next time you start to ask for that miracle, look around, objectively, listening to that inner voice that is whispering, here you go, now do it.



Emotional Guidance

If there is one thing I’ve been learning, and continue to learn, it’s the total misconception of emotions.  The prevalent thinking is we feel things as a response to what others may do and say, and it’s uncontrollable.  But we also know from scientific studies that our emotions are triggered from past events and teachings in our lives.  But what if we could override those things and replace them with new ones?  Well, neuroscience has shown that we can with awareness.  When you’re aware of a feeling, you then have the choice to keep it or change it.  So how do we use this as guidance?  I want to touch on a couple of things that may shed some light.

Gratitude and Value:  The majority of people are taught at a young age to say “thank you” when they receive something.  When taught, they usually don’t understand the emotion of really being grateful, but say it because they’re supposed to.  At times, when they get something they really wanted, they do experience that feeling.  But the majority of the time it’s just a learned habit.  Don’t get me wrong, it is a good habit, but let’s take a look at this a little closer.  A child get’s a toy they’ve wanted, they’re really excited and thankful.  A short time passes and they’re tired of the toy, it’s broken or lost.  For them, it’s value has gone and it’s now time for another.  Fast forward to adulthood.  How many times have we wanted something, got it, only to be ready for the next thing.  True gratitude should be felt.  So where does value come in?  The extent of our gratitude is related to how much we value of what we receive.  I remember as a teen, the first car I got.  Being able to get out of the house and just go anywhere was the greatest thing.  I valued it tremendously and showed it by taking care of it, washing the outside, keeping the inside spotless.  If anything needed to be fixed, I did it.  I always kept my cars in primo shape.  That’s just an example, it can applied to anything we receive.  Now for the flip side.  How many of us have gotten raises at work, been happy when we see it in our paychecks a few times, then after a while start thinking about that next one, still unhappy with our pay?

So what is my point?  With awareness, we can say “thank you” with feeling by focusing on the value of whatever it is we receive.  And by focusing on that, we will continue to receive more of it.  There is no question that we are created to expand in all areas of what we define as our lives, but that expansion will only occur when we feel real appreciation and gratitude for what we have instead of contempt for what we don’t have.  That is the guidance, when we feel truly grateful, we are headed the right way, when we don’t, we aren’t.




In the world of self-help and personal growth, very little is said about endings.  It seems that so much emphasis is on starting and going that many believe it won’t end.  But the natural cycle of all things has an ending.  While we energetically and spiritually endless, everything we experience has a start and finish.

I believe that endings can be extremely powerful and uplifting when accepted and viewed the right way.  Most people have experienced a bad relationship and even though the breakup was tough, afterwards everything was fine.  But what about the good relationships?  Why do they have to end?  And it’s not just relationships, but everything we be, do and have.

It’s about experiencing.  We are here to experience as much as possible by choice.  The thrill of any achievement isn’t the outcome, it’s the getting there.  When you think about it, wasn’t that moment you graduated from school, or left home to be on your own one of the most thrilling and exciting moments of your life?  Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with your life and remembered what is was like to look to the unknown life ahead and dream of all the possibilities?

Of course, but did you ever consider that there would be an end to every up and down along the way?

Endings are part of beginnings.  Just like leaving home as a young adult or teen, childhood ended so adulthood could begin (not that we acted like adults at first).  So if we can accept endings as well as beginnings we will live a much more rewarding life with less grief and more optimism.