“Love is just a fragile thing, shaped like a lizard. It wraps its tail around your heart and nibbles at your gizzard.”
My dad used to say this to me when I was a kid. I was reading the book “Adultery” by Paulo Coelho and that popped into my mind. I started thinking about love. I thought I had a good grasp on it, especially unconditional love which is what I truly want. Then it hit me. Everyone (or at least most) will agree that the love for their child(or children) is unconditional. And being a parent, I can empathize with it but when was the last time I could just be around one of my children and not feel the need to talk? When have they ever made a decision that I didn’t express support or lack of support to them?
We are brought up in a society that teaches Love requires conditions and that means there are different kinds of love. Parental love, friendship love, boyfriend/girlfriend love, and marriage love. All are supposed to be true love but each one has rules. As a parent, if you love your children you will teach them manners, give them toys on birthdays and holidays. You will make them go to school and obey your every command. And if they don’t you will feel hurt, guilty, or angry. You can love your best friend until they say something behind your back then you won’t love them anymore. Dating someone is wonderful at first and your love will last forever until they look or talk to someone else. They don’t call every night as promised. Then it’s off, no more love. All of this leads up to Marriage, when you’ve met that perfect mate. You’re both in love with each other and to prove it you will stand in front of people and take oaths pledging your every breath to them forever. Until you realize that they’ve changed. That healthy, fit person has become a couch potato or you thought they would change and they haven’t.
You see, our concept of Love is flawed from the beginning so exactly what is Love?
Acceptance. Of ourselves first, and everyone else, just as we are. For a parent, it’s the acceptance that children are not “our children” but simply individuals that we should teach. For those dating, it’s the adventure of getting to know someone that we have a vibrational match with and when it’s over, move on to another opportunity. For marriage, consider that you are agreeing that you are in a harmony with your mate and that all things change and you will either change together or change apart and it’s ok because Love has no expectations, conditions, or limit.